Relax.

Came across a website yesterday. And the song inside really kind of lead me into a very comfortable place. To sort out the thinkings in my minds. All that things become so clear. I can see all the problems that i had in my head.

Yesterday i talked about hating myself. Reason be hide it is because somethings i do i really don't like. Just don't like me being a girl that's always so weak. I want to be a strong girl. A girl that's independent. I try so hard but the more i try the more it seems impossible.

Low Self Esteem is one of my dead point. I always think that i can't always think that I'm not that good. But at sometimes i do really can do great things. It's just myself stopping myself to do it.

Really kind of in a mess now. Thinking of the sch to go to, the money of the course and whether a not to take it or leave it. If i wants to go to a private sch i have to take up at least 5 subjects. But 1 year seems so impossible to finish 5 subjects but that's cheaper. But 2 years are are too expensive. I don't want to add up dad's burden. As Joe haven't finish his poly. I know dad is tired, he wants to rest. He's carrying some many things on his back but i can't help him a little! even i start to work i haven't being helping him at all. As a older child in the family that hurts me. It seems that i can't provide them. It's so helpless. I feel like I'm the burden in the family. If I'm not around will it be better?

But if i say that it hurts PaPa's heart. He created me to be His angel, His Angeline. I have a purpose here on earth. Have i done part of my purpose already? Or is it just like what my mum says, I'm just turning around in the same area not moving, but keep turning and turning. Others have dreams but i don't have. Do i have dreams? I did dream to be a Gospel Singer for the Lord. My dream is to help people that's in need. I want all my friends and family to be happy. That's one of my dreams too! Am I making a different in this world?

Last night Star send me a msg that makes me kind of wake up.

The msg says:
"Faith Makes All Things Possible. Hope Makes All Things Works. Love Makes All Things Beautiful. "

What a beautiful phase do you agree?

Give me some more time? Trying my best to stand up again. Want to thank the company once again for their understanding. Learning i can say. Learning....

*Papa, I'm really at a lost. I don't know what's happening inside me. Please don't leave me. I feel really alone now. No one to turn to. But only you. Papa, help me to find comfort in you and the peace. Help me draw strength from you. Using your words to comfort me and encourage me. Not people's word anymore. But your word your voice. Amen.

The Songs i have being listening. Is really a very beautiful music. I think I'll want to listen to more piano pieces :)
http://pic13.pic.wretch.cc/photos/27/s/sigma1024/6/1992672320.mp3

*Just came across this Devotion so wanna Share.

AN INVOCATION OF STRENGTH

by Suzanne Benner

"May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loves us and

 by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage

 your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word" (2

 Thessalonians 2:16, 17).

Are you weary today? Is your strength failing?

Often we find ourselves in situations that require us to pour out

 physical and emotional energy at such a pace that there is little or no time

 to be replenished.

Raising young children is one such season of life. There aren't enough

 hours in the day to accomplish all that needs doing; the necessity for

 constant vigilance is draining and a moment of rest seems weeks away.

Being the primary care giver to someone who is sick or aging is another

 period of unrelenting demands on your energy. Beyond the physical

 demands, grief often takes an added toll.

Perhaps it is the strain of broken relationship that is exhausting you.

 Estrangement from a friend, sibling, or son or daughter exacts a heavy

 price from your peace of mind. Confession, forgiveness and working

 through the issues take more strength than you possess.

Many times we desire to do these good things that God has called us to,

 but become discouraged and tired.

Thus it is wonderful to discover that our God gave us eternal

 encouragement and good hope! More than a momentary pick-me-up, by God's grace

 and love we have access to a continuous supply of hope and encouragement.

Feelings fluctuate, but God and His word stand firm forever. Keep

 clinging to Him.

Please allow me to call on God on your behalf today:

~ May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loves you

 and by his grace gave you eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage

 your heart and strengthen you in every good deed and word. Amen.

Questions: What does eternal encouragement and good hope mean to you?

 How has it been a reality in your life?

A Sweet Act From a Husband When His Wife Is Giving Birth :P